Monopoly is a game that has probably been around since man first learned how to barter for bread, butter, and meat. It would not surprise me if some day the rules for this game were found in the non-translated manuscript of the Dead Sea Scrolls. I am certain that ancient merchants must have used it to establish their trading businesses.
I believe the business concepts learned in Monopoly are taught in the great business schools all over the US. Today’s parents use this game to establish a fiscal foundation to teach their children money management and prepare them to become big-time financial wizards on Wall Street.
But what do today’s parents do with those children who develop a prevalent disability known as ‘Degenerative Monopoly Syndrome’ (DMS)? This destructive emotional illness is becoming epidemic and threatens to destroy the financial market in the United States.
The manifestation of this malady includes the following symptoms: jittery arms and legs at the first sight of the monopoly box; a sudden interest in doing homework; begging to take a nap or to go to bed; tears streaming down the cheeks when forced to chose their game piece; extreme happiness when getting the ‘go to jail’ card and the same amount of depression when drawing the ‘get out of jail’ card; frequent bathroom breaks; and finally, after playing for exactly one hour and fifteen minutes the most devastating DMS symptom happens when your child stands up under the pretext of needing a drink of water and leg bumps the table, scattering the Monopoly pieces all over the room.
While this condition can ruin the average child it must be noted that hope is not lost and parents can implement the Rapid, Replacement, Reserve Therapy (RRRT). If incorporated quickly the child will grow up with a normal attitude towards Monopoly. While the makers of this game recognize the importance Monopoly has on the financial stability of our economy they are also aware of the potential devastation of this DMS epidemic. In a truly altruistic gesture the monopoly manufacture has invested millions of dollars into RRRT prevention.
This preventative measure requires parents to insist their children do one of the following activities (two is more effective): 1) learn patience by making them count the grass blades growing in the front yard (of course for this to be effective parents need to know how many there really are); 2) learn the value of endurance by requiring them to do something simple such as mathematically calculating the time it takes to flush exactly 1,250,210 drops of water down the toilet; or 3) teach them the art of negotiation by having them get on their knees and practice effective begging.
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Teaching children the art of patience and diligence is something from which all parents can benefit they travel along the journey of parenthood. While the above mentioned monopoly activities are far fetched and obviously nonsensical we owe it to our children to help them realize that patience and diligent effort is required in all life activities leading to success. Sometimes as parents we have to work just as hard exercising personal diligence and patience as we help our children achieve their goals and overcome their most challenging moments.