Please Grandma! I Promise!

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(Part 2 of 3)

It was a hot summer afternoon in Afton, Wyoming when my cousins invited me to go swimming in the ditch behind our grandparents’ home. I still had the cast on my arm but I begged and pleaded with grandma to let me swim. I promised to keep my cast dry and she didn’t need to worry. But the truth was, she did.

Someone found a small log and started pretending it was a “bucking bronco.” The object was not to fall off while one or two non-riders made it buck.

I was envious as I watched all the fun. The more they played the harder it was for me not to jump in. I knew better but before long I was in the water.

After the fun ended and while walking to the house I knew I was in trouble. I got the worst punishment possible and it was made worse because Grandma enforced it.

She made me sit outside all afternoon in the hot sun until my cast was dry, and that’s what I did. Grandma told me to sit there until it was dry. I obeyed because I was not going to risk anything else that day.

As I think back on this event I know Grandma Cazier loved me and she would never do anything to hurt me. She knew I needed to be disciplined in order to learn a lesson. That day I learned that every action has consequences with which we must live, whether positive or negative. This experience was one that I am glad I had, but I would never want to repeat.

This example is meant to help us teach our children the value of a promise and the importance of discipline. Discipline given with love and kindness will bless our children.


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Anne's Corner

By Anne Evans-Cazier, LCSW

In the heat of the moment we often literally can’t think straight and are likely to make poor choices about disciplining our children.

It takes time and thoughtful planning to find the effective balance between being too harsh and too lenient, to come up with reasonable ideas about how to teach children to take responsibility for their actions while helping them learn from their mistakes. Some parents rush in with consequences too extreme for the situation, taking away so many privileges so often, imposing such long time outs or grounding kids over and over again, with little real learning or change taking place. Other parents rush in to “save” or “protect” their children from experiencing even the most reasonable consequences of their behaviors and choices.

Think now about the types of challenges you and your child have been having. While you are calm, plan ahead so you will be ready with an effective response the next time the situation occurs. Consider how this simple guideline could help change things in your family: As much as possible, all of us, our children and ourselves included should take responsibility to solve the problems we create without creating a problem for someone else.

Try it out. And please write to tell us how things work out. We would love to hear from you.

Anne's Corner

By Anne Evans-Cazier, LCSW

In the heat of the moment we often literally can’t think straight and are likely to make poor choices about disciplining our children.

It takes time and thoughtful planning to find the effective balance between being too harsh and too lenient, to come up with reasonable ideas about how to teach children to take responsibility for their actions while helping them learn from their mistakes. Some parents rush in with consequences too extreme for the situation, taking away so many privileges so often, imposing such long time outs or grounding kids over and over again, with little real learning or change taking place. Other parents rush in to “save” or “protect” their children from experiencing even the most reasonable consequences of their behaviors and choices.

Think now about the types of challenges you and your child have been having. While you are calm, plan ahead so you will be ready with an effective response the next time the situation occurs. Consider how this simple guideline could help change things in your family: As much as possible, all of us, our children and ourselves included should take responsibility to solve the problems we create without creating a problem for someone else.

Try it out. And please write to tell us how things work out. We would love to hear from you.