Going NUTS?

These acorns caught my eye as I passed them on a walk with one of my daughters this weekend. We were in a nearby canyon, the trail was quiet, the nuts lovely in the glow of the afternoon sun, a welcome respite from the urgent calls from moms and dads the past few weeks, “My kid’s anxiety is through the roof. What can I do?”

Most of us, I think, hoped that the start of school would be closer to the “normal” of the past than its turning out to be. To better understand what makes us feel stressed, Dr. Sonia Lupien, founder of the Centre for Studies in Human Stress, uses the acronym NUTS: 

Novel

Unpredictable

Threatening

Sense of Control

We feel stressed when an experience is new or different than usual, seems random or unexpected, feels like a physical or emotional threat, or leaves us feeling we are not in control.

Hmm, let’s see… this year there are all the “usual” stresses of moving up a grade, new classes, teachers, and schedules, increased responsibilities and expectations, shifting friendships… plus, add in the quickly evolving infection trends, changing mandates and protocols, widely differing regulations in schools only blocks apart, let alone across the country or around the world. 

Kids understandably feel caught in the cross fire as adults disagree with each other about big decisions with serious potential for impact in their lives.  

What can you do to help your child? 

Start with connection. Share what you’ve learned about the NUTS and ask about their experiences. Let them know you care. Accept their feelings without trying to cheer them up or help change them too quickly. After kids feel seen and heard, accepted and respected, they are more likely to listen to your ideas about how to handle stress and all of their NUTS.   

Here’s to more resilient wins at home and school,

Anne and Calvert