Eagle Scout Award

Several years ago, I was actively involved as a youth leader with the Boy Scouts of America. I have a vivid memory of a conversation I had with a teenage boy, Richard, about the value to him of finishing the requirements for his Eagle Scout Award. I believed scouting had a tremendous effect in the life of a young man and, with him being so close to earning this award, he would someday regret giving up. He was approaching his 18th birthday, and if he worked hard there was just enough time for him to earn it, if it was important to him. 

During the discussion I had with Richard that evening, he asked a question I had heard many times before: “What will earning an Eagle do for me?”

I was confident in my response. “You can put it on your resume when applying for a job or on your college application, or it can help you if you join the military, etc., etc.” Because this was the standard answer that adults had been using for years to motivate their charges, I was confident it would work on Richard. He was not impressed.

“I have heard all this before,” he said, “but I am involved in other activities that will help me with all those things. So, please help me understand, why do I want to become an Eagle?”

This young man had me. I was trying to apply my belief system to his life. After all, he was an above-average student, full of confidence, an athlete, a student leader, and knew what he wanted to pursue.

At this point, I had an epiphany. I had not been like this young man in the slightest way. I had not been a good student, hadn’t had much self-confidence, hadn’t been an athlete, being a student leader had never been on my radar screen, and I wasn’t sure I had the capability to reach my goals. I could not answer him.

Over the next several days, I pondered this question. It bothered me. I really questioned the value of earning this award had for me.

After much thought and earnest searching, I realized that there was a personal value in earning my Eagle Scout Award. It was the first time in my life that I set a long-term personal goal, worked hard to reach it, really experienced the sweet taste of accomplishment, and knew that it was worth all the effort.

Thinking about this young man’s question, I realized that while earning this award was a positive benefit for me, it wouldn’t necessarily benefit him in the same way. I was better able to understand and support Richard’s decision to not pursue the award. I knew he was already taking steps towards his own goals and would be successful in his life.

How often do we really listen to our children, understand their true feelings, and believe in them? Let’s honor the power that comes from allowing them to make their own decisions and trusting them to follow through.

Happy Failing Forward, 

Calvert