Grandpa’s Revenge

This story happened on July 24, 1985. This day is a state holiday celebrating the day the Mormon pioneers arrived in Salt Lake City in 1847. Our family had a tradition of attending the annual parade along with thousands of people who line the streets in Salt Lake. 
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My parents lived a couple of miles away from the spot we staked out every year (one of my sisters and her family and a few cousins would sleep overnight to save the site). After the parade that year, Paul, age 15, and his cousin Greg, age 14, were riding their bicycles back to grandma and grandpa’s. As Paul was riding, he got distracted by a couple of cute girls. He was captivated by them and turned his head to look back at them rather than the road and the next thing he knew his bike went into a gutter grate and stopped suddenly. He was thrown over the handlebars, landed on his back in the road, received a good scraping of his knee, and turned to look at the girls who had stopped walking to laugh at this unfortunate boy trying to show off.
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Paul was more embarrassed than hurt and quietly picked up his bike and rode off into the figurative sunset. When Greg saw that his cousin was okay, he started laughing and was grateful the girls weren’t laughing at him.
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Later that day we were sitting around grandma and grandpa’s place visiting and enjoying the company when my sister Syd threw the first glass of water that started the water fight. This water fight still lives on vividly in the memory of all who were there that day. And please also bear in mind that every year we vowed that this would be the year that the water fights would end, but, well, this was a tradition that just wouldn’t end.
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Paul and Greg had decided that this year they didn't want anything to do with the traditional water fight and made a pact that they would stay dry. But, oh yes, they threw some water and then ran to the safety of the bathroom where they locked themselves in.
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The problem was that everyone else in the family got wet, including Grandma and Grandpa, all the adults, the teenagers, the young children, and even those still in diapers. Now what do you think was the prevailing conversation among all the drenched participants? If you guessed getting Paul and Greg wet, then you were right.
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Grandpa and all the uncles decided to invade the bathroom and drag the two cousins out, or, if necessary, drench them while they were in the bathroom, then make them clean up the mess. We knocked on the door and politely invited them to come out. We had their mothers (whom they loved and respected) talk to them nicely. Their fathers encouraged them to come out a little more forcefully, and still they refused to come.
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It was an old house, so Grandpa went and retrieved an old skeleton key and when we unlocked the door, we got a surprise. There was no one in there. The two boys had quietly crawled out the small bathroom window and taken off. We had a good laugh, but our resolve had not changed. When they came back, they were still going to get wet.
We waited patiently for quite some time before they eventually returned. They assumed that we were all dry and had forgotten the incident and would leave them alone, but they were sadly mistaken. We grabbed them and they pleaded for mercy, noting that Paul had been scraped up from the bicycle accident and Greg had scraped his elbow climbing out the window. We had no mercy. 
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Grandpa stepped up and offered a “solution” for their scraps. He told the boys to go in the house with him and so they followed, not knowing the surprise waiting for them. Dad’s children knew exactly what was about to happen, so we went with them to provide “assistance” if needed.
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Paul was the closest to hand as Grandpa came out of the bathroom with a bottle of Merthiolate. The adults in the room laughed silently as Grandpa gently daubed it on Paul’s scrape, immediately eliciting a loud, painful scream that scared the heebee geebees out of Greg, who quickly decided he didn't want anything to do with Grandpa’s “solution.”
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Greg was fast, but not fast enough! As he turned to run, the wise parents surrounding the boys stopped him and let Grandpa work his magic. Greg yelled as loud or louder than Paul and all the other kids came running to see what was going on. After the whooping and hollering settled down, Paul and Greg got their just deserts and were promptly drenched by the rest of the family.
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The memories of this event became a great family story that is still told today. 
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Family stories, both those that are fun and those that are more serious, bind us together and strengthen our family resilience and closeness. 
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Happy Failing Forward,

Calvert

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