When Does the Plane Land?

About twelve years ago, Anne and I were visiting some of our family who were living in Stuttgart, Germany. One of the added benefits of our visit was we were able to spend time with our oldest grandson, Calvert, before he boarded a plane and flew to Johannesburg, South Africa for a two-year mission assignment for his church. 


As a family we all went to the airport to bid him adieu. After sharing a lot of hugs, kisses, and tears we waved goodbye as we watched Calvert disappear into the crowd and eventually board the airplane. 


Calvert had an especially close relationship with his little two-year old brother, Joshua, who didn't fully understand what was going on. He was just happy to be with his family, and he gave his big brother a hug and a kiss on the cheek. This little guy was the only one in the family who wasn’t crying, and he wondered what all the fuss was about. He even noticed that his tough grandfather shed a tear or two.


This little boy had had previous experiences saying goodbye to family members, especially his dad who was an Air Force officer and traveled a fair bit. But each time Joshua said goodbye to his father, he knew his dad would be back home in only a few days. So, on this particular day, it was no big deal when his family all climbed into the car (there are eight children) and headed to the airport to say goodbye to his brother. It was only natural for him to assume that Calvert would only be gone for a short time before the family would be back to pick him up. They told him, of course, that it would be two years, but two years doesn’t really mean anything to a two-year-old! 


 After Calvert had been gone for more than a year, Joshua innocently asked his mother a very revealing question. He simply asked, “When is Calvert’s plane going to land?” In his mind he thought his brother was still flying somewhere on the airplane!


This was the first time Jenny realized that Joshua didn’t understand that his brother’s plane had landed long away, and that Calvert had gotten off the plane in a faraway place known as Johannesburg, South Africa, and had been living all this time. 


As any good mother would do when recognizing a giant misperception, Jenny took advantage of this teaching moment. She sat down with Joshua and helped him understand where his brother was, the work he was doing, and when he would be home. Joshua nodded his little head, indicating that he understood, and went back to playing.


Teachable moments are unexpected opportunities for parents to help their children learn at the most opportune time. Often this is the moment when a misunderstanding or an unexpected question arises. When they come, these moments provide wonderful opportunities for parents to teach their children a lesson that will probably never be forgotten. Whether or not the child remembers, the moment can also open a new horizon of trust and openness as the child learns that he can ask a question any time and his parents will take the time to answer. Taking advantage of these moments is most powerful when we help our children feel our love for them and teach with patience, tolerance, love, and understanding.  



Happy Failing Forward,


Calvert Cazier