Gun Pointed in My Face

Richard, Karl, Jerry, and I had been friends for a long time and at the time of this event we were Juniors at South High School. I don’t think any of us were scholars or even particularly good students but on this night, we were studying at the old Salt Lake City Library. 


When we finished our studies, we left feeling pretty good about ourselves and what we had accomplished. I was the one who drove, and I parked across the street from the library, in front of the Salt Lake City and County Building. The library was next to the police station and the city jail.


We were all good kids and not prone to trouble, but that night trouble found us and the way we handled it (particularly me) is the focus of this story. 


As we were leaving the library, we met Mark (one of our classmates) and some of his friends who had a grudge against Richard. As they approached us, they started harassing Richard. It escalated into pushing, then shoving, and finally punches were thrown. This coward thought he was tough, and he was as long as he was surrounded by his three friends. Richard was the biggest and most athletic of the four of us and he knew how to fight and take care of himself in a fair fight, one on one.


Today research has shown that the teenage brain is not fully developed and will not be fully developed until about 25 years of age. Unfortunately, my undeveloped brain made a stupid, panicked, teenage decision, which I have regretted since that night.


As all this was happening my thought process was to get to my car quickly and drive close to Richard to pick him up in case the police came. That way he could hop in and we could get out of there without getting caught. With an adult mind that has matured since that night, I recognize the craziness and ridiculousness of this decision and how it turned into a very dangerous and life-threatening situation. Since that fateful night I have often wondered why I wanted to run from the police? What was my thought process for making this decision? After all, we had done nothing wrong except try to defend Richard.


As I ran across the street to get my car, Karl and Jerry saw me and, not knowing what I was doing, came with me. We abandoned Richard and left him to defend himself against four bullies who ganged up on him. When I saw what was happening anger such as I had never known welled up within me. I got to the car, hopped in, and drove to help Richard. I wasn’t thinking straight and all I could think about was running over the guy who started this whole thing (can you understand why I didn't want to tell my family?).


Before I got to Richard, this coward ran to his car and pulled out a rifle and aimed it straight at my head. I didn’t know whether or not it was loaded so I stopped about 10 or 15 feet from him, and Richard climbed in the car. I vividly remember the feelings and thoughts running through my mind. I wanted to step on the gas pedal, but I knew that if I did, there would be a good chance that I would be dead. I had three good friends in the car with me who were afraid for me and in a kind, gentle way helped me calm down and leave the situation. To this day I am so grateful for those friends, and I am still ashamed that I let my anger get so out of control.


There are three important concepts I want to stress with this story: 1) teenage brains are not fully developed and their decision-making skills and abilities are limited; 2) even though I had wonderful parents who did their best to teach me correct principles, I still got myself into a dangerous situation and fortunately for me, I had good friends who helped me out of this situation; and 3) we need to share our negative stories with our children so they know and understand that their parents also had challenges with which they struggled, survived, and grew stronger as a result of facing their challenges.


Parents, we need to realize that our teenagers still have a lot of mental and emotional growing up to do even in their late teens and early twenties. As we remember this, let’s do what we can to help them make good, solid, informed decisions, and encourage them to develop friendships with kids who are grounded in strong values as well.



Happy Failing Forward,


Calvert Cazier




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