Caught in the Trap

I am reminded of a story I heard a few years ago about a coyote who lived in the forest where he had lived his entire life. This particular day he was doing something that he had been doing since he was a young pup. He was out looking for something to eat. In other words, he was hunting. He learned this basic survival skill from his parents who started teaching him from the time when he was very young.


He learned how to smell and determine the scent of the different animals living in the forest. He was taught which ones he should hunt, and which ones were dangerous and should stay far away from and never get too close. His parents did a great job of helping him understand that man was his most dangerous enemy. He was taught how to recognize his scent and listen for his sounds and not be seen by this enemy. He obeyed their teachings about keeping as far away as possible.


Perhaps his greatest hunting skill was learned from his parents by following their example. From his intense and thorough training, he became an expert hunter and eventually had a family of his own to teach his skills to. There were very few days when he didn’t get any meat for his family. He was such a good hunter that the other coyotes admired, respected, and sought him to pick his brain so they could become better and more capable hunters themselves.


One day he was out hunting for something to catch to take back to his family when he spotted a rabbit and decided that he would catch it and use it for his morning snack until he caught something bigger for his family. He quietly sneaked up on it and was ready to attack when the rabbit spotted him and re-acted quickly and started running away from the danger.


The coyote knew that he was faster and stronger than the rabbit and he would eventually catch and eat him so he decided that he would have some fun with the little critter, so he decided to chase it for a while before pouncing and eating him. Unbeknownst to the coyote, he was running towards a trap that a man had laid to catch a bear, coyote, badger, or whatever might step in it.


This coyote had never experienced such a trap before and was not paying any attention to anything but the rabbit. Unfortunately, for our friend the rabbit knew about the trap, and he led the coyote right towards it and jumped over it but the coyote stepped on the trap which caught his leg. His training had not prepared him for anything like this, so after several agonizing moments he realized that his only option to save his life was to chew off his leg, which he did.


Afterwards he realized he was still caught in the trap. Fear started to take control of his mind and emotions, so he chewed off two more legs only to learn from his frustration and dismay that he was still trapped. He was caught.


I wonder how many of us have days like this coyote. We encounter a problem that seems unbearable, and we rush to come up with a sensible solution only to discover that our efforts lead nowhere, and the problem still exists and may cause  the problem to become more challenging.


The coyote’s decision to chew off his leg would have probably saved his life but what should have been an obvious solution was not so obvious to him during the stressful time when he made it. Sometimes the answer we are seeking is right in front of us but for whatever reason we miss it or make it more complicated.


Perhaps the obvious resiliency skill to help strengthen our children is us, their parents. It is impossible to teach our children every danger to which they can be exposed, but we can teach them ways to recognize potential danger and help them develop a response that will solve the problem and protect them in the moment. Protecting them in the moment prepares them for handling larger and more serious problems they will face in their life.


Happy Failing Forward,


Calvert Cazier




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