First Dance in Afton Wyoming

It was sometime in the fall of 1946 that Paul Cazier of Afton, Wyoming took Lois Call from Logan, Utah to his hometown to visit his family. Paul had proposed to Lois, and he was excited to introduce her to family, friends, and the Star Valley culture. He was confident that she would make a good impression on them and they on her and that she would love the Valley as much as he did.

He was a farm kid at heart who always had a desire to be a farmer like his dad and his dad’s father. He prepared himself to become the farmer he had envisioned all his life. In high school he was elected president of the local Future Farmers of America Club. He was also named the Wyoming State High School Farmer of the Year, and he led his school judging team to the state championship and to the U.S. finals in Kansas City. Individually he placed third in the National Horse Judging Championship. Dad always thought that he was meant to farm.

In the early 1940’s Dad accepted an opportunity to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It was 1943 when he finished, returned to Afton, and was drafted. He reported to Denver, Colorado for his physical and induction, but when he got there the Army sent him back home to work with his dad on the farm, which he did until the war ended.

After the war, Dad had a change of heart, sold his cows, and moved to Salt Lake City to attend barber school. Six months later he was living in Logan, Utah and working for his Uncle Charlie as a barber. Shortly thereafter he met my mom who still had bandages on her head from her seventh and final plastic surgery for a facial burn she experienced when hot grease fell onto her head, face, and shoulders as an 18-month-old baby. By their next meeting, at a local dance, the bandages had been removed. They danced that entire evening, dated, fell in love, and eventually got engaged.

Thus, the trip to Afton. 

This particular weekend there was a dance at the Valleon Hotel. Dances were a big part of the Star Valley culture, and Mom knew Dad loved to dance, so she accepted his invitation.  What a great opportunity to have some fun together and meet all his friends.

They arrived at the dance, and it started out as they both expected. Dad said howdy to a few friends, introduced Mom, then took her out on the dance floor. Mom enjoyed that first dance with him but was unprepared for what happened next.  As soon as the first dance was over Dad left her (probably in the middle of the floor) and went over to another young woman and invited her to dance. Mom didn’t see Dad again until the final dance.

Understandably Mom was in shock at being left standing in the middle of the dance floor, not knowing anyone, feeling conspicuous and abandoned. I wish I had asked her what she did and learned how Dad wiggled his way out of this experience. I may not know the full answer, but I’ll bet it wasn’t a comfortable talk that he had with Mom after the dance.

Later in life Dad and Mom would laugh when they remembered that dance and shrug it off with “That’s just the way they did it in Star Valley back then.”

Dad and Mom settled down together in Afton, where Dad tried to farm with his dad and start a barbering business. Times were tough. There were just too many barbers in that small town and Dad couldn't make enough to support his growing family. After a few years, they moved to Salt Lake City where Dad barbered for over 60 years.

Sometimes I think of all the wonderful moments my parents shared over their lifetime together and how they could have missed out on all that happiness if they hadn’t been able to use that experience on the dance floor to understand each other better and fail forward together. When our kids face challenging moments, let’s listen to their pain, show our love and support, and then, when they are ready, help them understand that often things that seem hard today will get better and may even become cherished stories of resiliency and the source of many a satisfying laugh. 

Happy Failing Forward,

Calvert 

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