First Date, I Can’t Believe It!

In August 2005, I was at my sister’s house enthralled as I listened to her advice about finding me a wife (my first wife had passed away a year earlier). I was not participating much in this conversation except to say things like “uh-huh,” “that’s interesting”, “maybe” and “I’m not sure?” I must have said enough to make her think I was interested in what she was talking about, and I may have given her an unintentional implied okay for her to look for a wife for me. 


Sometime during our conversation, she left and went into another room to work on something, and I wasn’t paying attention to what she was doing. When she came back to the room, she insisted that I follow her and before I could react, she grabbed my arm and  pulled me to her computer room to look at something she had been working on. 


I was curious and she wouldn’t give me any information until I was sitting with her at her computer. Then she simply said, “Give me your credit card!” Naturally I was wondering why and so she told me that she had signed me up for a dating service. Now this is after me telling her that I wanted nothing to do with dating apps, but she filled out the forms for me anyway. Now I have learned that when my little sister Syd wants something it’s best not to argue and just go along. I obeyed, handed her my credit card, and two days later I heard from Anne.


It was Saturday, about mid-morning, when I received a comment from Anne Evans. I read her comment and promptly responded, sparking an Internet discussion lasting all afternoon.  


I had to excuse myself from our conversation for a few hours because I was going with my son and a couple of sisters to a BYU football game. It was a boring game because BYU had a big lead, so I said my goodbyes and left early to go to my office on BYU campus. I had just started a PhD program and had a lot of work that needed to be done. Anyway, while at the office I noticed that Anne had sent me a message, so I responded. We messaged back and forth like this the rest of the afternoon.  


About 7:00 p.m. I was tired and hungry, so  I invited her to dinner. She agreed to meet me at one of my favorite restaurants, but when we got there we learned it was closed for the week. I suggested an alternative restaurant that I liked (Chuck-A-Rama) but it really wasn’t the best place for a first date. After holding back a strong urge to laugh, Anne agreed to meet me there. We had a great time. 


In fact, we enjoyed ourselves so much we lost track of the time until a couple hours later we noticed that we were the only ones left in the restaurant and the cleaning crew was giving us subtle clues that they wanted to go home. We apologized to the employees and quickly left.


After we married, I told Anne why I chose Chuck-A-Rama which, believe it or not, was a viable and good choice. You see I had just used my credit card to pay tuition for me as well as my son along with a couple of thousand dollars’ worth of building supplies. I was worried that I didn’t have enough money on my card and didn’t want to be embarrassed by having the restaurant refuse to take it. I knew that this restaurant would take a check so that’s the reason I took her to such a fancy place on our first date (ok, I’m kidding about the fancy part).  


While this restaurant was nice but not a first date type place, Anne didn’t judge me, rather she trusted me, accepted my decision, and had a good time. This is one of Anne’s greatest traits, to be able to accept others for who they are without judging them or comparing them to others. Anne is a great example to me, and I am so grateful that my sister Syd filled out those forms and got my credit card and paid for six months of service. My life has been truly blessed.



Happy Failing Forward,