“I’m good at that!”

The Hairbrush

I was in a meeting recently with several colleagues, all skillful, talented, and successful in their own right. One of them brought up a professional challenge and my friend Lori replied, “Oh, I’m good at that.” 


Just a simple statement of competency. We started to talk about how refreshing it was to hear someone express confidence in their abilities, not in a vain or prideful way, not comparing themselves or saying they are better than others, just owning a strength, “Yeah, I’m good at that.”


Kids of all ages can struggle to find confidence in themselves. Young tweens and teens can find it especially hard as they are going through a normal yet often intense journey to figure out their identity, who they are, what they like, and what they’re good at. 


Unfortunately, some of them get stuck and fail to develop that wonderful sense of “Yeah, I’m good at that.” 


How can we help?


  • Praise effort.
  • Praise progress (instead of accomplishments).
  • Praise willingness to try new or difficult things.
  • Notice and mention unique strengths and skills.
  • Make it about them (so leave out the comparisons).


What else have you found that helps to build a child’s joyful, healthy confidence and pride in themselves? We’d love to hear your experiences.


Here’s to more resilient wins at home and school,



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