Little Black Bird with a Yellow Beak

Several years ago, I was staying at a hotel near the National Airport while I was in Washington, DC on a business trip. At the time, I was an avid jogger and on the first morning of the trip I decided to go for a 5-mile run. I set my alarm to wake up early and jog around the airport.

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While I was jogging, I came to a large bush that had a little black bird with a yellow beak circling around it as though it was protecting its territory. For some reason this bird fascinated me, and I watched it very closely as I approached the bush. Even after I passed by, I kept looking over my shoulder to watch it. This little bird captivated my curiosity, and I couldn’t stop wondering why it was only flying above that bush without ever changing its flight pattern. It was still there as I returned to my hotel. 

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Rising early the next morning, I decided to run the same route. I was curious about the little bird and wondered if it would still be there flying above the bush. As I got closer, I was somewhat excited to find my feathery friend still there patrolling his spot.

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Again, I watched with the same fascination as I had the previous morning. However, this time there was a difference in the little bird’s behavior. As I got closer, it shifted into attack mode and buzzed my head. It caught me by surprise, then my reflexes kicked in and I ducked for self-preservation. I was certain it was going to do a rat-a-tat-tat on the top of my head! I flailed my arms and sped up my pace. I was startled and my heart started beating a little faster, but the morning was so beautiful, and I wasn’t going to let the little bird prevent me from enjoying my run.

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I decided that for the remainder of my stay I would run the same course so I could spend more time with the little black bird with the yellow beak. Before leaving town, I was attacked or dive-bombed three more times. I could never figure out why that bird chose to be so angry with me. Probably because this bird recognized that I am such a nice guy, and he could do this to me, and I would not challenge him, and I would spread the word so that others (who are meaner and ornerier than me) would not want to challenge him.

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I still don’t know the real reason this little bird tried to attack me, but I suspect that there was a nest in the bush with young ones still in it. He was probably protecting his children, similar to what all parents would do if they suspected someone might be a danger to their little ones.

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In fact, the more I think about this experience, the more it reminds me of the fear and pain of the fathers I interviewed while gathering data for my PhD dissertation. Those fathers all had sons with Tourette syndrome (TS) and like the little black bird with a yellow beak, they were worried about the health, safety, and future of their sons, and they were prepared to defend and protect them.

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Now fathers all over the world are worried about their children, their financial security, their physical and emotional health from our global pandemic and all the associated changes and uncertainties. Each father handles his fears in his own unique way, but at the core, perhaps we are not really that different from the little bird, i.e., being aware of potential dangers and taking action to prevent our children from getting hurt. 

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Like the little black bird with a yellow beak, none of us can do a perfect job and prevent all harm, but we can be there to support, teach, encourage, help our kids rise again when they fall, and watch them grow stronger in the process.

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Happy Failing Forward,

Calvert 

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