Mad Momma Attacks

The story I’m about to share gives me no pleasure in telling, but it has an important message about fighting our children’s battles. It’s about a mother who I call the ‘Mad Momma’, her son ‘Precious’ and our youngest son Peter. It’s my hope to share this story in a factual way without bias, but it is a very emotional story, so some bias may be present. 


I use the term ‘Mad Momma’ to describe this overly protective mother (could be a metaphor for any overly protective parent).  On this beautiful baseball day, this ‘Mad Momma’ turned her frustration and wrath onto our 9-year-old son Peter with no warning or attempt to assess the accuracy of the situation. 


It happened the first year Peter played little league. He made the All-Star Team and was not having a good experience because the coach decided that Peter wasn’t going to play in this game.  Peter was watching the starters warm up shortly before the game.  One player whom I call ‘Precious’ didn’t like him staring so he told Peter to knock it off. Peter informed him that he didn’t have to so ‘Precious’ left the ball field and went over to his mother who was sitting in the bleachers and told her that Peter was bothering him. I learned later that nobody irritated the ‘Mad Momma’s Prima Donna’ without suffering her wrath, so she stood up and walked over to Peter and started loudly berating him and told him to leave ‘Precious’ alone. 


Peter refused to allow her to see him cry but he wasn’t so tough later on when he was alone with his dad heading home. I was unaware that this happened until we were in the truck and Peter started to cry. When asked what was wrong, he told me about being attacked by the ‘Mad Momma’. I was upset and thought that Peter must have really done something very wrong for a grown woman to react the way she did. I thought I was prepared for the worst possible scenario but came to realize I was not at all prepared to realize that an adult could attack a 9-year-old boy like she did. 


I was certain that Peter was telling me the truth as he described the incident that caused the attack. I knew it was true because Peter didn’t embellish the truth and because I learned that this woman had a reputation for being overly protective.


I was angry and wanted to confront her, but I didn’t. Rather, Carol, Peter’s mom, and I took a different approach with this woman, and her husband, and the ‘Prima Donna’. I put forth an effort to talk to them at the ballgames and become friends.


Eventually we became superficial friends (meaning that the ‘Mad Momma’ would ask how Peter was and compliment him on a good game and I would do the same for her son, but we never discussed anything of importance or depth). In fact, Peter went on to play on an All-Star Team every year he played baseball and he played with her son. We had no more trouble with her or ‘Precious’. She eventually recognized Peter’s talent and good qualities.


In this incident Peter was an innocent participant (not that he wasn’t capable of mischief). Carol and I were involved in a periphery sort of way. However, Carol was an integral part of this memory because she acted as a consultant, builder, and reinforcer of Peter’s self-esteem and self-worth.


Carol is the epitome of what a mother ought to be. She would never, under any circumstances, act the way this ‘Mad Momma’ acted. However, she would do whatever she had to in order to protect her sons from injustice and harm, but she would not fight their battles when they could handle the situation.


I remember when this ‘Mad Mamma’ attacked Peter and how Carol’s love, comfort, and advice helped him go on with his life, still believing he was an OK guy. This is what parents can do!


Happy Failing Forward,

Calvert


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