Mothers, Mothers, Mothers

There are three mothers in my life whom I love and appreciate as mothers, each of whom have special reasons for my love and respect. The first is Lois Call Cazier, the second is Carol Sorensen Cazier, and the third is Anne Evans-Cazier.


These three women have impacted my life on so many levels and to such an extent that I don’t believe I can ever give them adequate credit. Lois Call gave birth to me. Carol is the mother of my two sons. Anne is the mother of three daughters and the only Cazier grandmother eight of our ten grandchildren and our four great-grandchildren have ever known and loved.


In the next several paragraphs I will attempt to explain the impact each of these women had on various aspects of my life. I hope to convey the message that I would not be the person I am today without their love, support, and help. I realize that I will do an inadequate job with this attempt to truly describe what they mean to me, but I owe it to myself to write this tribute.


My mother, Lois Call, took care of me, protected me from myself, taught me how to live, advised me when life was a challenge and I needed her insight. She would correct me when I needed to be corrected and if she happened to get upset during the process, she always came back to me when she had calmed down and would apologize for getting angry. She never excused what I did, and she reinforced that I needed to be disciplined but she let me know that she still loved me, and she was glad that I was her only son.


My mom wasn’t perfect, but she endured her challenges with dignity and courage. She helped me to believe in myself when perhaps I didn’t or others didn’t believe I could succeed in some aspect of life, i.e., college. I shudder when I think of being told by a high school counselor that I wasn’t smart enough for college and in a few seconds of being with her she calmed me down and convinced me that I could succeed in college even when others didn’t believe in me. Mom was right. I did go to college, and earned not only a bachelor’s degree but a master’s degree and a PhD as well. I can honestly say my mom saved me many times and in many situations.


In October of 1969, I married Carol Sorensen, and it was one of the greatest days of my life which I would never regret. She was a beautiful red-haired woman with a great personality who laughed at my jokes, advised me on all sorts of matters, and was my best friend. We lived as husband and wife for the next 34+ years before cancer took her away from me. She put up with the three of us (my two sons and me) and while she may have gotten upset at the time, she could laugh about it later. She could also pull practical jokes by herself or in cahoots with a neighbor with whom she was good friends.


For example, one night she came to bed laughing quite loudly. I was already in bed but I heard her laugh so I awakened and asked what was so funny. She debated whether she should tell me but being persistent I asked again, and she said, “This!” and then threw a glass of cold water on me. We spent the next fifteen minutes laughing and making the bed.


Another time she and two of her friends conspired and planned a spaghetti dinner for me. When we got to the home where the dinner was to be held, the spaghetti had already been served. When I sat down and started to eat, I noticed three giant mushrooms on my plate. Not believing that mushrooms are real food I picked the first one up to place on the plate of my host but to my surprise it wasn’t a mushroom. These women served me three fresh cow EYEBALLS. Yup that’s right! Of course, I didn’t eat them but boy did everyone at the table laugh.


Carol was the best mother my two boys could ever have, and I love her for the relationship she had with each of them among many other reasons that I love and cherish her.


Anne Evans is the third woman who has greatly touched my life. When I married her, a new best friendship was formed. We got married just as I started my second semester of my PhD program and without her influence and help, I’m not sure that I would have made it. She edited my papers with the skill of an expert editor, and she was brutally honest with her suggestions which after some pondering, I agreed with her and my papers were always better, and I always appreciated her help.


But more important than the papers that she helped me with was the love she developed with my sons. It didn’t take long for them to recognize what a wonderful woman she was, and they learned to love her and accept her into our family. In fact, they have both told me that they believe their mother would be grateful that I married Anne because she is a good partner to me and another great mother for them and an amazing grandmother that our grandchildren deserved and needed.


This beautiful woman whom I was fortunate to marry brought three beautiful and wonderful daughters into this relationship and encouraged me to love them, and I do. They are a bonus to this marriage. I never had daughters and it is wonderful to vicariously experience the thrill that daughters can provide.


I recognize that it is not easy to fall in love with a man who has Tourette Syndrome along with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) yet Anne was able to do that and accept me for who I am. This good woman loves me, supports me, and respects me and in return my goal is to do the same for her. I appreciate her patience, her understanding, and her calming demeanor that she brings into my life.


As I mentioned earlier, these three MOMS have impacted my life in significant ways that helped me become who I am today. Again, let me reiterate that I am a better person for having them in my life. I am truly blessed!



Happy Failing Forward,