My Friend Gerald

In my humble opinion one of the most beautiful songs ever written by Rodgers and Hammerstein is “You’ll Never Walk Alone” from the play Carousel. Whenever I hear this song, I think of my good friend Gerald who was taken from this world when he was a young man in his early forties. He left five young children and a wife, whom he loved so very much.

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This friend was a quiet man who was well respected in the public health community, church, and family. He was a man who said very little but when he had something to add to the discussion it was always well received. 

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He was my confidante when I started my career in public health. It didn’t take long to develop a friendship with him and his family.

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I remember when Gerald hired a man, just out of college, to work with him as an environmental health inspector. One day Gerald assigned this man to inspect a local restaurant. During the inspection, this inexperienced inspector found no major infractions, but he did find several minor problems. The combination of all the minor problems was not significant to create a serious public health problem, but they did add up to the score required to close the restaurant and the inspector ordered its immediate closure. 

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Generally, a restaurant closure should be done only after all other solutions have been tried. Gerald had worked many years to establish a good rapport with the restaurant community in this particular rural mining town. This inspector’s lack of experience and inability to see beyond black and white created many problems for Gerald, the health department, and the restaurant. One insensitive, immature inspector nearly ruined years of hard work.

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My good friend succeeded where the young inspector struggled because he knew the restaurant owners and that they wanted to provide a safe environment, after all, their businesses thrive or fail based upon customer satisfaction and perception of safety. During his career Gerald learned to sit down with the owners and develop a timeline and plan for correcting problems. Based on the respect he earned from the owners they responded appropriately to his requests and took responsibility to correct the problems.

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Gerald didn’t have to use threats, speak loudly, or get angry to achieve positive results. He succeeded by trusting, being respectful, sensitive, stepping out of the box to help, and listening without any preconceived notions. As a result, Gerald was one of the most respected inspectors in Utah.

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As parents we can follow my friend’s example and practice respectful listening and effective decision making before taking action. As we apply these concepts in our dealings with our family, we will help them develop it in their interactions with others as well. It is amazing how effective listening combined with effective action benefits our lives and strengthens our resilience as well as our children’s.


Happy Failing Forward,

Calvert


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