“Oh, No! I Need a New Barber”

Several years ago, I was sitting in a barber chair getting my hair cut and, after forty-five minutes, my dependable and lifetime confidant finished cutting my hair, then gave me the bad news. He told me I had to find a new barber. 

This was a devastating, life changing experience that left me with many personal challenges. The thought nearly caused me apoplexy. I seriously considered shaving my head and going as a skinhead for the rest of my life. 

How could he do this to me? 

So what if he was 90 years old? He had been cutting my hair since I was a baby. I tried talking him out of it, pleading with him change his mind, but all my pleading and begging went for naught. He wouldn’t be persuaded. 

At this point I let my impulsive-self take over and said, “OK then, can I have your barber chair?” 

His eyes twinkled mischievously, “Sure, you can have it, and if any customers call me to have their hair cut, I’ll send them to you!” 

Just like that I lost my barber, obtained a barber chair, and got involved in the barber business. 

I thought he might have a suggestion for a new barber, so I asked him who he thought I should go to now, and he simply said, “Someone who knows how to use scissors!”

Finding a new barber turned out to be more difficult than I expected and way more frustrating. The first barber shop I tried had a barber who believed there should be no talking with the customers, and to top it off he cut my hair so fast I couldn’t even enjoy the humming of the clippers. 

The second was a waste of time because he never smiled and, more importantly, he wouldn’t laugh at my jokes. 

My third attempt at finding a barber was scary because I went to my wife’s barber, and going to a woman’s barber shop triggered a deep emotional fear, but, being a manly man, I ‘manned up’ and gave it a chance.

When I walked into this shop, the first thing I did was look around for another man, but there was not a single one in sight. If any men were around, they were hiding in their car until their wife was finished. It felt like what I imagined going to a nail solon to get a manicure would feel like. I was certain all the women were pointing their fingers at me wondering why I as there.
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Fortunately, this experience turned out to be very interesting and enlightening. As I patiently sat waiting for my barber to call me, I listened to the chatter of the women and learned more about women in that hour than in the previous 60 plus years of my life.

Some of the subjects I heard discussed were potty training, cute husbands, vitamins, fertility problems, Christmas trees, and cow’s milk.

This haircut turned out to be stress free, educational, and fascinating. I enjoyed the experience, went back quite a few times, and discovered that going to a woman’s barbershop was not too bad.  

However, I still had one more barber to try and, wow, I’m glad I did. My new barber is my cousin, and so I finally found a barber who could cut my hair as good as my dad (Yup! He’s the retired barber I had to replace).
 
Of course, no one could really replace Dad! 

Remembering this experience set me thinking about how important it is for parents to help their children accept and live with change, to understand that change is part of life, and, while we may struggle with it, it will still happen. As parents we need to help them through life’s inevitable changes and reassure them that we will be there and get through it together.

Happy Failing Forward Together,

Calvert

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