One, Two Tango
In early 1967, I was living in Taranto, Italy with a friend from France. We were roommates for approximately six months before he was transferred. We lost contact with each other and I didn’t see him again until 2014 when I learned we were living in the same city.
When we reconnected I learned that he was a Tango instructor. He invited my wife and me to attend his class. I was not excited about his offer but I knew my wife would love it so I accepted.
Anne is a beautiful dancer while I struggle trying to remember whether I start with my right foot or my left. Obviously my friend was glad that Anne was there to help me. We attended this class regularly for about eight weeks until he went back to France for more advanced training from his Tango master.
While he was gone I enjoyed my time practicing with Anne. I had intended to continue my lessons when he returned but for some reason I never did.
As I thought about this experience I asked myself a question, “did these tango lessons help me become a better person or a more resilient person?” As I thought about this question I asked myself another. “Did I improve my life as a result of taking these lessons?”
No I didn’t, BUT I could have if I had persevered without giving up. Persevering with the lessons would have taught me the value of stepping out of my box to try new things, to not give up, to enjoy the journey, and to be a risk taker. If I had accepted this challenge I would have improved my life in a small but meaningful way. I could have tasted the sweet feeling of success and the confidence that meeting a challenge instills.
The message of what could’ve, should’ve been is an important message to share with our children as we try to help them become stronger in meeting their challenges. I gave up and I reaped the reward of my efforts. I still don’t know whether I should start with my right foot or left foot.
Share This Article:[sgmb id=1]
Anne's Corner
Start with only one very small and specific goal, one that is just a little bit beyond your child's current abilities. I'm serious, teeny, tiny steps that really happen are way more powerful than trying to make big changes and giving up in frustration. With one small change your child can stretch but still have a high rate of success and really see progress. Change is hard and focusing on making one successful change at a time can set up a pattern of growth and progress that can least a lifetime. Reinforce by noticing any efforts, positive change and progress. This may be as simple as making a positive comment to your child or to someone else in earshot of your child, or it may be a chart for little ones, or appropriate new privileges for older ones. Celebrate effort and growth!
Anne's Corner
Start with only one very small and specific goal, one that is just a little bit beyond your child's current abilities. I'm serious, teeny, tiny steps that really happen are way more powerful than trying to make big changes and giving up in frustration. With one small change your child can stretch but still have a high rate of success and really see progress. Change is hard and focusing on making one successful change at a time can set up a pattern of growth and progress that can least a lifetime. Reinforce by noticing any efforts, positive change and progress. This may be as simple as making a positive comment to your child or to someone else in earshot of your child, or it may be a chart for little ones, or appropriate new privileges for older ones. Celebrate effort and growth! 