Power of Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

As teenagers, my sisters and I had friends over to our house most Sunday evenings. After a while we didn't have to invite them because they knew there was an open-door policy which became a weekly event. Our parents approved, encouraged, furnished the food, and participated with us. Our friends enjoyed having our parents there.


These gatherings were relaxing, enjoyable, and always unpredictable. Friends came to eat, watch TV, visit, play games, or just horse around. It didn’t matter because everyone was welcomed and made to feel at ease. Every week the menu was always the same: grilled cheese sandwiches and hot chocolate. I don’t remember whether we had dessert but if we did it was probably brownies or cookies. 


Those who didn't like grilled cheese sandwiches either learned to like them or they went without, no exceptions were made to the menu. This tradition lasted for several years, and I am aware of only one person who didn’t like the sandwiches, but he eventually learned to enjoy them, and he later married my sister. I always wondered how much power those grilled cheese sandwiches had over him in order to get the courage to ask my sister to marry him.


Our friends always knew that they were welcome, they could be themselves, and they could speak openly and honestly. They could joke with our parents or have a serious conversation. They laughed when my dad would get out of character and teased them and listened when he gave advice. 


My sisters and I have reminisced many times about those Sunday evening get togethers and we have shared stories about them with our children, grandchildren, and others. As I have thought about these activities, I realized the sacrifices my parents made as they opened their home every Sunday for our friends. We were not wealthy; in fact, we were far from it, but every Sunday night they provided food, love, friendship, and most importantly a safe haven for our friends and us, their children. As I look back on these events, I realize that our family really was wealthy in the things that mattered most in the lives of teenagers.


My parents shared their riches with anyone who came into our home Sunday evening (in reality their riches were shared anytime to anyone who walked in the front door). The riches my parents shared with our friends were such things as patience, tolerance, friendliness, welcoming all, accepting and loving, being non-judgmental, and creating warmth within the home. As I think about these Sunday night get-togethers, I realize that my parents were teaching us resiliency skills that we needed to live life to the fullest and raise and teach our own children with good strong values. These lessons were not taught to us from knowledge that they learned through books but the lessons we learned from them came from the lessons they learned and applied from their parents. We were taught their values (which became our values) through their love and example.


They could have tried to talk to us about our values as we ate dinner, which is where a lot of our learning took place but for these particular skills they had a better and more appropriate way. It’s called EXAMPLE.


And now you know and understand why, grilled cheese sandwiches truly are a power food.


Happy Failing Forward,


Calvert Cazier