Two Steps Backwards

I clearly remember one hot summer day that I spent stacking hay with Uncle Quinn, Grandpa Cazier, and a couple of cousins. I was about 10 years old, and nobody realized I was beginning to show symptoms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Tourette syndrome. One of my early OCD symptoms involved my inability to walk from point A to point B without turning around and walking back to where I had just come from because I had stepped on something, and I needed to return and step on it again.

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My problem was that I couldn’t walk thirty feet without stepping on something, usually it would be a rock, or a stick that I could feel through the soles of my shoes. When this happened, I really tried hard to ignore it, but no matter how hard I fought the urge I couldn’t conquer it and before long I was compelled to turn around, walk back. Now I had to find whatever it was that I had stepped on  and step on it again. Not only did I have to step on it again, but I had to keep stepping on it until it “felt right.” Oh, and by the way I had to step on it an even number of times or I couldn’t move forward so I had to just keep stepping. Nothing could get me to leave this activity until I felt satisfied. Obviously, this abnormal behavior caused me and those around me a great deal of aggravation and frustration because it took me forever to walk anywhere. It was this behavior that triggered my uncle’s comment that day. 

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We had been working since early morning, and our haystack was about 15 feet high when I walked to the edge of the stack to pick up a bale and carry it to another part of the stack. As I approached the edge someone yelled, “Calvert, don’t get so close to the edge or you’ll fall!” to which Uncle Quinn wryly responded, “Don’t worry about Calvert. He takes one step forward and two steps backwards.” At the time it was absolutely accurate.

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Everyone on that haystack burst out laughing, myself included. I've always had a pretty good sense of humor, and I knew my uncle was only joking around and not being mean. In fact, I could see the fun in his comment better than anyone else and I laughed the hardest of all.

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Research shows that having a sense of humor can be a great strength for children as well as adults. It can help them stress proof themselves and be better prepared to face their challenges. I know that humor was a lifesaver for me, and it is still a frequent tool that I use to cope.

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From early childhood, I have been grateful for my ability to laugh at myself and incorporate humor into my life with my friends and family. Being able to see the humor in life helps us and our children set a tone of goodwill and acceptance, making it easier for people to relax around us and enjoy themselves without feeling overly self-conscious or fearful of being wrongly judged.

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Uncle Quinn was a great example to me of using a quick wit and a sense of humor to help people relax and ease tense situations. I never saw him use his humor to degrade or hurt anyone and through his example, he helped me understand the value of humor and how to use it appropriately.

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So, when life gets tough and stressful (and sometimes it can seem like an everyday occurrence), let’s look for the humor in our lives and our families and use it to cultivate a close, relaxing, comfortable way of getting through our challenges together with a good laugh.

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Thanks Uncle Quinn!

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PS And I'm happy to report that I did finally figure out how to confront my OCD so I didn't have to take one step forward and two steps back the rest of my life, but that's a story for another day.


Happy Failing Forward,


Calvert Cazier




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