Will You Still Love Me If I Am Purple?

Several years ago, my wife and I were in a restaurant eating a sandwich with our 9- year-old granddaughter Alicia who has an eye for noticing little things that are going on around her. We had just finished our sandwiches, and we were sitting at the table visiting and enjoying a few minutes of time together.
 
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Alicia looked at her grandmother’s face and told her that she was turning purple around her mouth. Anne asked me about it, but I couldn’t see anything. I wasn’t sure if her mouth was really turning purple or if Alicia was using her great imagination that she had developed (Alicia is an artist and her talents for observation started young).
 
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My beautiful wife and grandmother of ten grandchildren and four great grandchildren and who is always the pinnacle of amazing wisdom asked her a very pertinent question. “Alicia, will you still love me if I am purple?” At first thought, a person would think that that was a silly question but nine-year-old, Alicia responded affirmatively, “Yes Grandma​ I will!”
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The thought that entered my mind was, “I’ll bet she was really thinking, Grandma that was a dumb question!” But even at that young age she was sensitive to her grandmother’s feelings (I don’t think she recognized that Grandma was teasing because that was not a usual part of who grandma is).
 
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I thought about the message that Alicia was giving her grandmother. In a beautiful, simple, childlike way she was saying, “Grandma, it doesn’t matter to me what you look like. I love you as you are, and I will always love you.”
 
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In that simple yet beautiful childlike affirmation she taught a great lesson about the acceptance of others. She taught us that physical appearance is a superficial way to judge and accept people. At a young age she learned an important resiliency skill that will benefit her for a lifetime, which is acceptance of others is important if we want others to accept us.
 
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It has been nine years since Alicia spoke those words to her grandmother, and she has grown and changed in many ways which are important in helping her become who she wants to be. She is a terrific artist, winning many awards, a college freshman, and a young lady that her grandparents love and are proud of who she is. But one very important thing that has not changed since she told her grandma, “Yes, I will still love you purple”.
 
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Today, she still has that sensitivity from her childhood to accept people for who they are. This is a beautiful quality and one that we could all benefit from having and if we don’t have it, we can develop it. It’s important that we help our children learn to accept others for who they are and not on something superficial.
 
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The painting you see with this post is a self-portrait that Alicia recently painted.


Happy Failing Forward,


Calvert Cazier



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