Bob & David Are Friends

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This is a story of lasting friendship.  It began with two teenage boys, Bob and Dave, growing up in the late 1930s and early 40s. Bob was born with a cleft palette, which although repaired to the extent possible at the time, still had some obvious impacts on his appearance and speech.  Not everyone at school looked beyond these to get to know him, his talents, his strengths, and his potential.  Not so with Dave, who accepted him for who he was and was proud to call him his friend.  As this friendship matured and both boys became men, their appreciation, respect, and admiration for each other continued to grow.

The friendship between these two young men lasted some fifty plus years, through war, weddings, schooling, graduations, births, relocations, sickness, even death.

Both were intelligent men who graduated from college with professional degrees and were very successful in their respective careers.  They both married and raised large families, with all of the associated ups and downs and trials.

In his early sixties, Dave was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease but the friendship continued strong. After the diagnosis Bob visited his friend every week and spent precious time with him.  At first they could go for a jog together, then a jog became a long walk, which became a shorter, more shuffling walk, then Bob pushed Dave in a wheelchair, then he simply sat by his side. Most important of all, Bob continued these visits every week without fail until the very end.

The relationship between friends is a remarkable experience that pays huge dividends in our lives and in the lives of our children. We can help them understand what a friend is, the work it takes to maintain a friendship, and the huge value it can bring into their lives.

It has been said, “life is better with friends.” Such is the case for Bob and Dave.

 

 


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Anne's Corner

By Anne Evans-Cazier, LCSW

Like Dave, someday each of us will die. This is a hard truth that sometimes we want to shield our child from. More powerful is to help them see that facing life and death and everything in between together with those we love and care about is what brings us some of the great joys this life has to give. You can start with little things, taking a book or other small gift to someone who is sick or injured. Take your child with you to spend a few minutes with an elderly neighbor or relative, listening to their stories, asking questions, fixing a meal. Talk about the seasons of life and help them understand that every living thing will grow old and die. Share whatever beliefs, ideas or even questions you have about what happens after we die. Share what other people around the world believe. You don't have to be an expert, just be curious and study it together on the Internet, at the library, by asking others. Encourage your child to ask questions and answer them as honestly as you can. You will be helping them share with you and the rest of the humanity the wonderful journey of discovery about the meaning and value of life. Bon voyage! Share the times when things are going well and then be there for each other when life takes a turn for the worse.

Anne's Corner

By Anne Evans-Cazier, LCSW

Like Dave, someday each of us will die. This is a hard truth that sometimes we want to shield our child from. More powerful is to help them see that facing life and death and everything in between together with those we love and care about is what brings us some of the great joys this life has to give. You can start with little things, taking a book or other small gift to someone who is sick or injured. Take your child with you to spend a few minutes with an elderly neighbor or relative, listening to their stories, asking questions, fixing a meal. Talk about the seasons of life and help them understand that every living thing will grow old and die. Share whatever beliefs, ideas or even questions you have about what happens after we die. Share what other people around the world believe. You don't have to be an expert, just be curious and study it together on the Internet, at the library, by asking others. Encourage your child to ask questions and answer them as honestly as you can. You will be helping them share with you and the rest of the humanity the wonderful journey of discovery about the meaning and value of life. Bon voyage! Share the times when things are going well and then be there for each other when life takes a turn for the worse.